Camille's solution worked. Turned it into a basic PHP function, which writes up the SQL statement. Hope this helps someone else.
function _bulk_sql_update_query($table, $array)
{
/*
* Example:
INSERT INTO mytable (id, a, b, c)
VALUES (1, 'a1', 'b1', 'c1'),
(2, 'a2', 'b2', 'c2'),
(3, 'a3', 'b3', 'c3'),
(4, 'a4', 'b4', 'c4'),
(5, 'a5', 'b5', 'c5'),
(6, 'a6', 'b6', 'c6')
ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE id=VALUES(id),
a=VALUES(a),
b=VALUES(b),
c=VALUES(c);
*/
$sql = "";
$columns = array_keys($array[0]);
$columns_as_string = implode(', ', $columns);
$sql .= "
INSERT INTO $table
(" . $columns_as_string . ")
VALUES ";
$len = count($array);
foreach ($array as $index => $values) {
$sql .= '("';
$sql .= implode('", "', $array[$index]) . "\"";
$sql .= ')';
$sql .= ($index == $len - 1) ? "" : ", \n";
}
$sql .= "\nON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE \n";
$len = count($columns);
foreach ($columns as $index => $column) {
$sql .= "$column=VALUES($column)";
$sql .= ($index == $len - 1) ? "" : ", \n";
}
$sql .= ";";
return $sql;
}