Although there are a lot of good tips here I'd like to answer the question you asked:
So in other words can they work hand in hand just like Apache/Perl or
Apache/PHP etc..
YES, you can run Node.js on Apache along side Perl and PHP IF you run it as a CGI module. As of yet, I am unable to find a mod-node for Apache but check out: CGI-Node for Apache here http://www.cgi-node.org/ .
The interesting part about cgi-node is that it uses JavaScript exactly like you would use PHP to generate dynamic content, service up static pages, access SQL database etc. You can even share core JavaScript libraries between the server and the client/browser.
I think the shift to a single language between client and server is happening and JavaScript seems to be a good candidate.
A quick example from cgi-node.org site:
<? include('myJavaScriptFile.js'); ?>
<html>
<body>
<? var helloWorld = 'Hello World!'; ?>
<b><?= helloWorld ?><br/>
<? for( var index = 0; index < 10; index++) write(index + ' '); ?>
</body>
</html>
This outputs:
Hello World!
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
You also have full access to the HTTP request. That includes forms, uploaded files, headers etc.
I am currently running Node.js through the cgi-node module on Godaddy.
CGI-Node.org site has all the documentation to get started.
I know I'm raving about this but it is finally a relief to use something other than PHP. Also, to be able to code JavaScript on both client and server.
Hope this helps.