@SocialCensus, The example you gave in the comment to MarkusQ, where you throw in ' alongside the ", doesn't work with the example MarkusQ gave right above that if we change sam to sam's: (test, a "comma,", bob, ",sam's,",here) has no match against (,)(?=(?:[^"']|["|'][^"']")$). In fact, the problem itself, "I don't really care about single vs double quotes", is ambiguous. You have to be clear what you mean by quoting either with " or with '. For example, is nesting allowed or not? If so, to how many levels? If only 1 nested level, what happens to a comma outside the inner nested quotation but inside the outer nesting quotation? You should also consider that single quotes happen by themselves as apostrophes (ie, like the counter-example I gave earlier with sam's). Finally, the regex you made doesn't really treat single quotes on par with double quotes since it assumes the last type of quotation mark is necessarily a double quote -- and replacing that last double quote with ['|"] also has a problem if the text doesn't come with correct quoting (or if apostrophes are used), though, I suppose we probably could assume all quotes are correctly delineated.
MarkusQ's regexp answers the question: find all commas that have an even number of double quotes after it (ie, are outside double quotes) and disregard all commas that have an odd number of double quotes after it (ie, are inside double quotes). This is generally the same solution as what you probably want, but let's look at a few anomalies. First, if someone leaves off a quotation mark at the end, then this regexp finds all the wrong commas rather than finding the desired ones or failing to match any. Of course, if a double quote is missing, all bets are off since it might not be clear if the missing one belongs at the end or instead belongs at the beginning; however, there is a case that is legitimate and where the regex could conceivably fail (this is the second "anomaly"). If you adjust the regexp to go across text lines, then you should be aware that quoting multiple consecutive paragraphs requires that you place a single double quote at the beginning of each paragraph and leave out the quote at the end of each paragraph except for at the end of the very last paragraph. This means that over the space of those paragraphs, the regex will fail in some places and succeed in others.
Examples and brief discussions of paragraph quoting and of nested quoting can be found here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quotation_mark .