If I interpret your question correctly, then you have to do this as an application-level construct. That is, this is something specific to your program you're going to have to code up yourself.
The approach I would take is to write "mydaemon" with the idea of it being a wrapper: it checks the process table or a pid file to see if a "mydaemon" is already running. If not, then fork/exec your new daemon. If so, then send the arguments to it.
For "send the arguments to it", I would use named pipes, like are explained here: What are named pipes? Essentially, you can think of named pipes as being like "stdin", except they appear as a file to the rest of the system, so you can open them in your running "mydaemon" and check them for inputs.
Finally, it should be noted that all of this check-if-running-send-to-pipe stuff can either be done in your daemon program, using the API of the *nix OS, or it can be done in a script by using e.g. 'ps', 'echo', etc...