Ok, this does involve some code but custom events might work. Here I have a custom "specialEvent" that I fire, and a "trackChanges" function to do what you will.
I created a "tracker" function in a fiddle that simply adds a class depending on what changed here: http://jsfiddle.net/DsSQd/1/ and keeps track of the length previously seen in a "tracker" element - in this case the parent of the group. It is a bit ugly, but you can do what you want there, in mine, I track the length of the group in the parent wrapper and simply add a class depending on whether the length changed or not, and if not, just highlight the element that fires the event.
// custom event handler
$(document).on('specialEvent', '.special, .changerthing, .friendly>.specialalso', function () {
trackChanges(this, $(this).parent(), $(this).parent());//react to the change
});
// event where I trigger the handler
$('#wrapperToBindTo').on('click wacked', '.changers,.special,.changerthing', function () {
$(this).trigger('specialEvent');
});
// event where I trigger the handler
$('.friendly').on('click', '.specialalso', function () {
var me = $(this);
me.clone().appendTo($(this).parent()).text(me.text() + ' Copy of:' + me.index()); //add one
me.parent().find('.specialalso:last').trigger('specialEvent'); //fire special event
});
For example, we could then add this function:
//added to show a remove, then trigger that cascades
$('#wackFriendly').click(function(){
$('.friendly>.specialalso').last().remove();
$('.friendly>.specialalso').last().trigger('wacked');
});
and then handle that as seen here: http://jsfiddle.net/DsSQd/2/