Put the attendee table first in the FROM, and then left join to the other tables that may not have records.
SELECT attendee.id, attendee.firstName, attendee.lastName, count(attendee_chat.to)
from attendee
LEFT JOIN attendee_chat ON attendee_chat.to = attendee.id
LEFT JOIN chat ON attendee_chat.id = chat.attendee_chat_id
WHERE attendee.id <> 1
GROUP BY attendee_chat.to;
I would avoid doing a FULL OUTER JOIN as it is not necessary and may lead to some unexpected results.
EDIT: Try this. Remove the chat
table as you aren't selecting from it anyway, and group on the fields from the primary table attendee
, rather than the on tables that may not contain any data.
SELECT attendee.id, attendee.firstName, attendee.lastName, count(attendee_chat.to)
from attendee
LEFT JOIN attendee_chat ON attendee_chat.to = attendee.id
WHERE attendee.id <> 1
GROUP BY attendee.id, attendee.firstName, attendee.lastName;
EDIT2: After discussion of requirements that he wants a count of chats that were to him (#1)
SELECT attendee.id, attendee.firstName, attendee.lastName,
(SELECT count(1) FROM attendee_chat
WHERE attendee_chat.from = attendee.id and attendee_chat.to = 1) as chatcount
from attendee ;
EDIT3: After comment about external ID
SELECT attendee.id, attendee.firstName, attendee.lastName, attendee.attendee_id,
(SELECT count(1) FROM attendee_chat
INNER JOIN attendee a2 ON a2.id = attendee_chat.toid
WHERE attendee_chat.fromid = attendee.id and a2.attendee_id = 123
) as chatcount
FROM attendee ;
P.S. I've changed from to fromid and to -> toid as it is dangerous using reserved words as object names ;-) SQL Fiddle here