Changing menu items at runtime
After the system calls onCreateOptionsMenu(), it retains an instance of the Menu you populate and will not call onCreateOptionsMenu() again unless the menu is invalidated for some reason. However, you should use onCreateOptionsMenu() only to create the initial menu state and not to make changes during the activity lifecycle.
If you want to modify the options menu based on events that occur during the activity lifecycle, you can do so in the onPrepareOptionsMenu() method. This method passes you the Menu object as it currently exists so you can modify it, such as add, remove, or disable items. (Fragments also provide an onPrepareOptionsMenu() callback.)
Ref documentation
@Override
public boolean onPrepareOptionsMenu (Menu menu) {
if (condition_true)
menu.getItem(item_index).setEnabled(false);
return true;
}