It seems like anything that is request/response is a violation of CQS.
Pretty much yes, hence Command-Query-Separation. As Martin Fowler nicely puts it:
The fundamental idea is that we should divide an object's methods into two sharply separated categories:
Queries: Return a result and do not change the observable state of the system (are free of side effects).
Commands: Change the state of a system but do not return a value [my emphasis].
Requesting that a server's object increase by one is a Command, so it should not return a value - processing a response to that request means that you are doing a Command and Query action at the same time which breaks the fundamental tenet of CQS.
So if you want to know what the server's value is, you issue a separate Query.
If you really need a request-response pattern, you either need to have something like a convoluted callback event process to issue queries for the status of a specific request, or pure CQS isn't appropriate for this part of your system - note the word pure.
Multithreading is a main drawback of CQS and can make it can hard to do. Wikipedia has a basic example and discussion of this and also links to the same Martin Fowler article where he suggests it is OK to break the pattern to get something done without driving yourself crazy:
[Bertrand] Meyer [the inventor of CQS] likes to use command-query separation absolutely, but there are
exceptions. Popping a stack is a good example of a query that modifies
state. Meyer correctly says that you can avoid having this method, but
it is a useful idiom. So I prefer to follow this principle when I can,
but I'm prepared to break it to get my pop.
TL;DR - I would probably just look at returning a response, even tho it isn't correct CQS.
