TL;DR: I am looking to find out if it's possible via a Google Sheets spreadsheet to programmatically open an Excel document stored in the same location and parse out data for processing.
MORE INFO: The data in the Excel file is in a very inconvenient state but it is an export I have no control over. I'd just like to be able to drag that Excel file into my Google Drive and press a button in my Google Sheets spreadsheet that will go through that Excel file and pull out the bits I need. I'll need to be able to iterate through each of the Excel worksheets (consistently named but no set number) for data that is in a predictable format in each sheet. I'll be doing some processing of that data against data already present in my Google Sheets spreadsheet.
I'm not concerned about the learning involved but I can't find evidence that what I want to do is even possible. This thread has a solution involving Excel which I can adapt to if I have to, but I'm hoping for a solution that doesn't use VBA.