We send a lot of emails to a lot of our users (ranges in 20k+ per day). One of the major problems we face are invalid or dead emails - sometimes our users delete their accounts, change their email address without updating their profile, or our email database builders simply caught emails that are invalid or no longer active. These unresolved returned status messages keep not only piling up on our webmaster account, but also waste precious server resources and flag us as spam more often because of the repeated attempts.
Now, while our mail server is set up to keep trying to send an email to an address that returns "temporarily unavailable", I would like to be able to receive status messages into PHP immediately after sending. For example, when my Sender class sends an email, I would like to know the status message that was returned - whether the email is no longer active, or the server does not exist, or the email was simply moved to another address.
Naturally, I want to be able to receive a status message of a delayed email as well. So if an email does not get sent because the recipient email address is temporarily unavailable, I would like to get the "temporarily unavailable" message back into Php, but I would also like the real one to get passed back once the sending succeeds (for example, if the email does go through 2 days later).
Is there a library that would help me achieve this? What are the most common approaches to this problem, if any?