docker compose up with nodejs issues Error: Cannot find module '/node index' and does not rebuild images on update

Question

I am having three issues:

1. very similar to How to solve Node.js Error: Cannot find Module?, but mine can't find node at all it seems.

2. when updating either docker-compose.yml or the logic, running docker compose with or without the --build flag does not detect changes and update the image and I'm running stale broken images

3. even when specifying the dependency order with depends_on, my node server builds and tries to connect to my postgres server before it is ready.

4. the server container cannot seem to communicate with my postgresql container, although I can communicate with both from my local environment by running psql postgres://postgres:postgres@localhost:5432/postgres(postgres) or curl localhost:8080/foo(server)

docker-practice_server_1 | error:  Error: connect ECONNREFUSED 127.0.0.1:5432
docker-practice_server_1 |     at TCPConnectWrap.afterConnect [as oncomplete] (net.js:1146:16) {
docker-practice_server_1 |   errno: -111,
docker-practice_server_1 |   code: 'ECONNREFUSED',
docker-practice_server_1 |   syscall: 'connect',
docker-practice_server_1 |   address: '127.0.0.1',
docker-practice_server_1 |   port: 5432
docker-practice_server_1 | }

Any help on resolving any of these errors is much appreciated.

Error

docker-practice_server_1 | node:internal/modules/cjs/loader:926
docker-practice_server_1 |   throw err;
docker-practice_server_1 |   ^
docker-practice_server_1 | Error: Cannot find module '/node index'
docker-practice_server_1 |     at Function.Module._resolveFilename (node:internal/modules/cjs/loader:923:15)
docker-practice_server_1 |     at Function.Module._load (node:internal/modules/cjs/loader:768:27)
docker-practice_server_1 |     at Function.executeUserEntryPoint [as runMain] (node:internal/modules/run_main:76:12)
docker-practice_server_1 |     at node:internal/main/run_main_module:17:47 {
docker-practice_server_1 |   code: 'MODULE_NOT_FOUND',
docker-practice_server_1 |   requireStack: []
docker-practice_server_1 | }

project structure

--- docker-compose.yml
--- server
----- index.js
----- package.json
----- Dockerfile

index.js

const express = require("express");
const app = express();
const pgp = require("pg-promise")();
const db = pgp("postgres://postgres:postgres@localhost:5432/postgres")
  .connect()
  .then(() => console.log("connected!"))
  .catch((err) => console.error("failed to connect because: ", err));

app.get("/foo", (req, res) => {
  res.send("sup");
  db.any("select * from sups")
    .then((v) => console.log("got: ", v))
    .catch((err) => console.error("error: ", err));
});

app.listen(8080, () => console.log("listening on 8080"));

docker-compose.yml

services:
  db:
    image: postgres
    environment:
      POSTGRES_PASSWORD: postgres
      POSTGRES_DB: postgres
    ports:
      - 5432:5432
  server:
    depends_on:
      - db
    build:
      context: ./server
      dockerfile: Dockerfile
    ports:
      - 8080:8080

Dockerfile

FROM node:14

WORKDIR /usr/src/app

COPY package*.json ./

RUN npm i
COPY . .

EXPOSE 8080
CMD [ "node", "index.js" ]