Ah, the old "throbber of doom" :-)
There's another question about this which is probably worth a read. It refers to IFRAMEs but it's most probably still relevant.
I wrote up a post on the throbber while I was working on Kwwika but I came to the unfortunate conclusion that's it's not very easy to 100% get rid of it.
I'd suggest that WebSockets aren't actually overkill. Comet using XMLHttpRequest etc. isn't a standard fundamentally supported by web browsers. In other words they don't go out of their way to make creating long-lived HTTP requests super-easy. WebSockets are a standardised approach that are slowly but surly becoming supported in all browsers. I'm hoping that they make it into IE10. For now you can look at something like web-socket-js which will ensure WebSocket support in 99% of browsers. WebSockets also offer lower latency and are less resource-intensive that any kind of polling solution.