I would question that matching the prereqs of an ORM is necessarily "making compromises". However, some of these are fair points from the standpoint of a highly SOLID, loosely-coupled architecture.
An ORM framework exists for one sole reason; to take a domain model implemented by you, and persist it into a similar DB structure, without you having to implement a large number of bug-prone, near-impossible-to-unit-test SQL strings or stored procedures. They also easily implement concepts like lazy-loading; hydrating an object at the last minute before that object is needed, instead of building a large object graph yourself.
If you want stored procs, or have them and need to use them (whether you want to or not), most ORMs are not the right tool for the job. If you have a very complex domain structure such that the ORM cannot map the relationship between a field and its data source, I would seriously question why you are using that domain and that data source. And if you want 100% POCO objects, with no knowledge of the persistence mechanism behind, then you will likely end up doing an end run around most of the power of an ORM, because if the domain doesn't have virtual members or child collections that can be replaced with proxies, then you are forced to eager-load the entire object graph (which may well be impossible if you have a massive interlinked object graph).
While ORMs do require some knowledge in the domain of the persistence mechanism in terms of domain design, an ORM still results in much more SOLID designs, IMO. Without an ORM, these are your options:
- Roll your own Repository that contains a method to produce and persist every type of "top-level" object in your domain (a "God Object" anti-pattern)
- Create DAOs that each work on a different object type. These types require you to hard-code the get and set between ADO DataReaders and your objects; in the average case a mapping greatly simplifies the process. The DAOs also have to know about each other; to persist an Invoice you need the DAO for the Invoice, which needs a DAO for the InvoiceLine, Customer and GeneralLedger objects as well. And, there must be a common, abstracted transaction control mechanism built into all of this.
- Set up an ActiveRecord pattern where objects persist themselves (and put even more knowledge about the persistence mechanism into your domain)
Overall, the second option is the most SOLID, but more often than not it turns into a beast-and-two-thirds to maintain, especially when dealing with a domain containing backreferences and circular references. For instance, for fast retrieval and/or traversal, an InvoiceLineDetail record (perhaps containing shipping notes or tax information) might refer directly to the Invoice as well as the InvoiceLine to which it belongs. That creates a 3-node circular reference that requires either an O(n^2) algorithm to detect that the object has been handled already, or hard-coded logic concerning a "cascade" behavior for the backreference. I've had to implement "graph walkers" before; trust me, you DO NOT WANT to do this if there is ANY other way of doing the job.
So, in conclusion, my opinion is that ORMs are the least of all evils given a sufficiently complex domain. They encapsulate much of what is not SOLID about persistence mechanisms, and reduce knowledge of the domain about its persistence to very high-level implementation details that break down to simple rules ("all domain objects must have all their public members marked virtual").