Solution:
After messing with a lot of suggestions I discovered the answer is both simple and stupid.
The " ' " in the following code are not true single quotation marks (or whatever they are called). Instead " ‘ " is used, which is something different thats not recognized.
Basically ‘ != '
The original code:
$config[‘appId’] = 'x0x2x1x9xx3x98x';
$config[‘secret’] = 'xxx79xf7x6xxx5xxxfxxxc5bx46xfxxx';
$config[‘fileUpload’] = false; // optional
The fixed code:
$config['appId'] = 'x0x2x1x9xx3x98x';
$config['secret'] = 'xxx79xf7x6xxx5xxxfxxxc5bx46xfxxx';
$config['fileUpload'] = false; // optional
All I did was replace the " ’ " with " ' " which caused my text editor to recognize the names as quoted strings. I uploaded it and it worked! I think it was an encoding problem somewhere along the line that changed the character, which makes sense. It means the FB team did originally write good code, but that people are having valid problems with it.