Yes, G.A is blind to this kind of server-side stuff. And their PHP Api is not helpful either.
However, you could have a short redirection page, holding the GA tag inside like this :
<html>
<head>
<title>A web page that points a browser to a different page after 2 seconds</title>
<meta http-equiv="refresh" content="2; URL=<?php echo $golink; ?>">
<meta name="keywords" content="automatic redirection">
<script>var _gaq=[['_setAccount','UA-XXXXX-X'],['_trackPageview']];(function(d,t){var g=d.createElement(t),s=d.getElementsByTagName(t)[0];g.src='//www.google-analytics.com/ga.js';s.parentNode.insertBefore(g,s)}(document,'script'))</script>
</head>
<body>
If your browser doesn't automatically go there within a few seconds,
you may want to go to
<a href="<?php echo $golink ?>">the destination</a>
manually.
</body>
</html>
Notice the $golink
variable in the meta tag.
If you use this, do not forget to replace UA-XXXXX-X
by your real account number.
Credits : optimized GA tag goes to Mathias Bynens
[EDIT : javascript only version]
<html>
<head>
<title>Redirecting you...</title>
<script>var _gaq=[['_setAccount','UA-XXXXX-X'],['_trackPageview']];(function(d,t){var g=d.createElement(t),s=d.getElementsByTagName(t)[0];g.src='//www.google-analytics.com/ga.js';s.parentNode.insertBefore(g,s)}(document,'script'))</script>
<script>
<!--
if (window.addEventListener)
window.addEventListener('load', function() { window.location="<?php echo $golink; ?>"; }, false);
else
window.attachEvent('onload', function() { window.location="<?php echo $golink; ?>"; });
// -->
</script>
</head>
<body>
</body>
</html>