Alert! Alert!

"What's that?"

"It's the boring alert. A new stack overflow user has joined."

"Who is it?" "FatPancake52. He is rumored to be the most mind numbing, dreadfully, disgustingly boring person so have ever existed on this earth."

"Who could make such an uninteresting person?"

"God, I guess. Nobody knows who he really is, or who made him become such a dull, flat, unstimulating person. Some say if you listen to his stories, he can turn anybody into a man like him in seconds."

"There he is! Right there!"