I am a software ninja in charge of discovering the secret behind why penguins are always dressed in suites. I won't leak any secrets, but you'll never guess why and it has nothing to do with taking over the world with flapjacks.

I like to learn new things but people scare me so I'll troll the internet until I'm smarter than the average bear.

If you're still reading this profile you obviously have nothing better to do or you were just swayed by my charm, either way, I just wasted 5 minutes of your life. Unless you're a very slow reader in which case 10 minutes.