How to Deal with Being a Short Male

Co-authored by Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Last Updated: September 25, 2022 References

You're sick of hearing the jokes, tired of reading dating profiles that underhandedly mention height, and can't stand being in the front row of every group photograph. You're not alone - there's even a documentary about the experiences of being a short male.^{[1]
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Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Adjusting the Way You View Your Height

1
Control your thoughts. It's much easier said than done to change the way you think. That said, it's possible to push away negative sentiments by reminding yourself that perceptions of personal shortcomings are just that - perceptions. To start doing so, try to be more aware of your cognitive behavior. This means recognizing and identifying your thoughts.^{[2]
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- For example, when you think negatively about your height, you're betraying a cognitive bias that is leading you to focus on this single physical attribute. Call your mind out, and redirect your thoughts!
- It's worth seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist to help with being aware of your thoughts. They will help you use mindfulness to catch yourself in negative thought processes and replace them with positive, more worthwhile thoughts.
- Try to identify and write down where your ideas about being short came from. Pinpointing the source of your thoughts can help you to question their truthfulness.
2
Focus on the physical advantages. Though it may not always feel like it, there are some definitive advantages to being a short male. For one, you likely build and retain muscles more easily. There are other potential physical advantages as well, such as quickness and agility that can benefit from a lower center of gravity.^{[3]
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- And don't forget, attraction is a purely subjective phenomenon. Some potential partners will absolutely prefer short men, just like some people are attracted to guys with beards or bald guys.
- Along with physical advantages, short men tend to have more stable marriages, lower cancer rates, more active sex lives, and longer lives overall.^{[4]
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Consider the practical benefits. Aside from strength and agility, there are other tangible benefits to being short as well. For instance, you will likely have an easier time staying comfortable in many contexts, including airplane seats and smaller vehicles. While these may not seem like important considerations, it's worth acknowledging the fact that there are always relative advantages for people of any height.
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Remind yourself what you like about others. Think about what you like about other people. In particular, think about what makes you enjoy spending time with certain people, and value the relationships you have with them. Chances are, you didn't worry too much about their height.^{[5]
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- On the other hand, think about what others probably like about you. The fact of the matter is that whatever reputation you've developed has much more to do with your behavior than your stature.
- If you're consistently bummed about your height, it may help to write out all of the attributes you like yourself. Don't limit the list to just physical attributes. As you look the list over, think about which factors are the most important to you.
- Look for role models of similar height. Find some of your best role models and emulate what they do to overcome feeling vertically challenged.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Dressing for a Lengthening Effect

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Get your clothes altered. Tailored clothing helps people look their best, and is the easiest way to immediately up the quality of your wardrobe. Clothes are designed for average height people, and designed to accommodate multiple body types. Accordingly, your pants and shirts may be too long, or may be sewed in a way that makes them fold in odd spots.^{[6]
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- In particular, get your pants hemmed - it will not only shorten the legs, but make the pants fit better on your whole lower body.
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Buy “made to measure”. You can also purchase clothing made to fit you perfectly. This is especially worthwhile for button-up shirts, which will almost always need to be altered or custom made to fit you well. On the topic of dress shirts, opt for short, downward-pointed collars.^{[7]
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- For online options, Modern Tailor and Blank Label are retailers that specialize in making clothes to fit your specific measurements.
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Wear pants at your waist. A longer leg line from a longer pant leg will help make you appear taller. Though many popular styles of pants are worn on the hips, this risks making your legs look stocky. To emphasize a lengthening look, wear trousers without belt loops and wear suspenders.^{[8]
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- Get a high quality pair of dark, well-fitting jeans. Opt for a pair that fits your form, avoiding a baggy or tight fit. Boot cut jeans are especially good for shorter legs, as they add silhouette to your body without adding boxiness.^{[9]
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Accessorize to complement your body type. Watches, jewelry, and neckwear can help tie an outfit together. Choose particular items in proportion to your body type. Big watches belong on big wrists and stocky arms, while slim, short men look especially good in slim ties.^{[10]
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Wear darker colors lower. Here's a simple style rule to follow: always keep darker colors lower on your body. A dark pair of pants and a lighter colored shirt will make you look taller, while a dark shirt and light colored pants risk making you look shorter.^{[11]
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Wear vertical patterns. The classic example is vertical stripes, which have a slimming effect. Consistently-spaced, thin, vertical stripes without much room in between are ideal. Of course, any texture that is vertically oriented will have similar effects. Accordingly, opt for corduroy and herringbone patterned materials for heavier weighted clothing.^{[12]
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Get a jacket with the perfect proportions. Most importantly, avoid jackets that have extra space in the armpits. This may be the case even if the sleeves are the right length, and will make you look heavier. This is because the proportions of the jacket are not designed to fit your body. When shopping for a suit coat, work with a tailor who can make you a jacket or make the necessary alterations on a store-bought jacket.^{[13]
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- Shoot for about ¼ inch of shirt cuff showing beyond the end of your jacket sleeve. This is proportional to a shorter arm length. Opt for thin collars and lapels too, for a lengthening effect.
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Avoid shorts and short sleeves. Simply put, shorts and short-sleeved shirts will make you look shorter. This is in part because short men usually have relatively short appendages, and these types of clothing will draw attention to them. Linen pants in hot weather, as well as long sleeved-shirts (even with the sleeves rolled up), are preferable.^{[14]
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Consider getting shoe inserts. Shoe inserts are purely a matter of personal preference. They can subtly add height, but may be uncomfortable or otherwise bothersome. You can also try wearing cowboy boots or another type of footwear with heels that are higher, per the style of the shoe.^{[15]
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- Avoid shoe inserts in high-heeled shoes, like many types of boots. The combination will tilt you forward too much.
- Shoes designed to add a few inches to your height are usually not the best option, as they will be noticeable.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Dealing With Others' Rudeness

1
Pause to let an insult wash away. One unfortunate aspect of being a short male is that people may mention it a bit too often. These comments have more to do with the speaker's insecurity than they do with you. Next time someone mentions your height and it bothers you, pause a moment, remind yourself that they're acting immaturely, and see if you can simply let it pass.^{[16]
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Stick up for yourself. Sometimes, a response is warranted. The type of response, however, is up to you. Usually, refusing to acknowledge a tasteless comment is the best route. However, if the comments continue, it's best to confront the person in a direct, non-aggressive way.^{[17]
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- Perhaps the best way to do so is by looking them in the eye and asking, “You're not trying to offend me, are you?” This provides them an out to laugh it off, while sending the message that you don't appreciate their comments.
- It is often completely fair to say something like, “Hey, I can joke about height with the best of them, but this is getting kind of old. Will you stop cracking jokes at my expense?”
- Most importantly, stay calm, and avoid responding with insults of your own.
3
Ignore the haters. Again, this is easier said than done. That said, if there's someone in your life to whom your height seems like a big deal, it's likely worth addressing. Say something like, “It seems like my height is a big deal to you. It's not to me, so I'd prefer it if you quit bringing it up.” If they don't get the message and insist on viewing you in terms of your height, you may do well to avoid them altogether.